Once upon a time,
there was a little girl
whose name was Be.
The story of AFHI
Be had five identical sextuplet sisters: Belinda, Betsy, Breeana, Bianca & Britannia.
They had a mommy and a daddy, and a dog and a cat. They grew up in the heartland of America, in a cozy little house in the middle of grassy meadows. It was surrounded by singing birds and buzzing bees.
But something was wrong. Even as very little girls, they realized: theirs was an unhappily family.
As the girls grew up, they looked around, and made a momentous discovery:
Many families were unhappily. And so, they decided to study unhappily.
To learn everything about it. To understand unhappily, through and through.
For over 23 years, they studied the many facets of unhappily. They learned of unhappily today, and unhappily yesterday. They learned of unhappily near, and unhappily far. They learned of unhappily big, and even unhappily small! They began to have an inkling of how to understand unhappily.
One day, the second sister, Betsy, had an epiphany. She gathered her sisters, and made a momentous announcement. “Understanding unhappily is not enough,” she declared. “Understanding makes unhappily a little less strong, and a lot more bearable. But it doesn’t bring on happily.”
There was a sudden flurry of chattering among the sisters. But one by one, they all agreed.
Studying unhappily was no longer getting them anywhere. So they decided to focus all their energies on studying happily. They would learn to make more happily - and then - they would teach the world.
On that day, the American Family Happily Institute was founded.
It was devoted to research, study, and testing, to discover all possible ways to get more happily.
And so together, the Be sisters devised a scheme to bring their findings to the world. Now, after 14 long years of research and study, they were ready. Ready to bring the teachings about happily to the world.
During their years of arduous study, working alongside hundreds of scientists, analysts, philosophers, psychologists, and poets, who came from miles around to work with The Institute, an even more exciting possibility was discovered. More exciting than even much more happily.
This was their discovery:
When all Americans reach the minimally adequate level of happily,
the New UtopiaTM will dawn! And everyone loves the New Utopia!